A warning with the content: this essay discusses suicide
This month was a arduous month for people with disabilities, especially when it comes to watching messages. In Great Britain, it covers it cuts made for PIPThe United Kingdom pursuit of disabled people to go to the workplace, while enabling more severe sanctions for those who do not return to work – even if the workplace is harmful.
And then I came across Tweet Tom Harwood on X, and then a clip on a thicket from the London presenter of broadcasting messages, stating that disabled people “are not disabled”.
Given the threads, I shared my experience in the workplace to show how hazardous he could be for a disabled person, in one day she had 531 likes and 71 reposts. Apparently it was a conversation. My story contains references to suicide and self -mutilation, as well as intimidation, but sharing it, I hope to show the reality of the life of an autistic person.
I entered the workplace from the main school at the age of 16, without any transition. I have never had EHCP (Plan of Education and Health Care) and received very little support at school was aimed at conversation or interaction in the workplace. Within a few months I received a discipline for non -compliance with the rules and talking about “inappropriate” things. I was called Cocky for not reacting to something that my boss said, but the truth was that I just didn’t process it properly and I wasn’t able to verbalize the answer.
After a formal discipline – who as a 16 -year -old autistic girl was the most terrifying experience in my life – I started to have panic attacks at the thought of going to work. I could already say that people thought that I was strange. I have never said the right thing or reacted properly, and I had no knowledge or courage to be able to support myself at this age.
In my second practice I started working in a corporate office. As a rule, if you were at the reception, you couldn’t see food or drink. With long episodes without food and water I stopped recognizing when I was hungry or thirsty. It also helped regain my eating disorders, because it became the norm for me that I don’t eat at work. I lost great importance by experiencing tablespoons of peanut butter.
Another work in a health company was for the first time my body rebelled all over stress. They thought that I did not want to be there just because I had an empty expression on my face and pulled me into the office for not following the rules of telephone systems, even though they were never shown. I was six stones at the time and I started to break into hives and had a huge purple stain on my face.
In my first full -time (not professional) work I tried suicide after a year. I had a team leader who told me to leave disability at the door, and told me to move massive files, although she knew that I also had brain palsy. It was an office in the open plan and everyone could hear Vitriol, which she used on everyone in her team, but nothing was ever said or done. It was as if it was normal behavior. After my attempt, I received two weeks off, and then I came back, but nothing changed. Shortly after I gave up.
After going to the legal sector, I experienced even more discrimination. In my shortest period, which lasted only four months, I learned that the spreadsheet is spinning with my name many times. They called me a moody bitch, commenting on my ear defenders and how strange I was. The girls would be nice to my face, but then they will say how strange I was behind my back. As or I gave too much or too little eye contact. They wanted to write “I’m glad you are going out” on my card, and one of the managers commented on how I would probably come home and cut his wrists.
In my last legal work, before I moved the sectors, I was pulled into the conference room without warning and hidden for causing the “atmosphere” and making all uncomfortable. Again, it was my lack of expression and the inability to catch a joke. I had to endure almost an hour of criticism, and then I left hyperventilation on the floor in one of my worst strokes in history. I was also teasing mercilessly to what or how much I ate, and again I returned to limiting food consumption at work, so that nobody would say anything about it. After the confrontation, I gave me a notification and they eagerly pulled me out of the door.
For ten years I experienced the worst form of hell and it left me scars that would never heal. Everything that happened depends on the preferences, neurotypical people who do not want to understand what actually entails autism, and does not want to create a safe and sound work environment because it does not benefit the working class. Because of my experience, I am joyful to work on work that pays less and works less hours, because it is a safer environment that has some understanding of autism. On the fingers of poverty every month I can only be safe and sound.
Novel cuts and pursuit of disabled people for work will cause a lot of experience, such as mine, and that scares me. Will we see an augment in suicide in the autistic community in the coming year? Will people from autistic be forced to mask and hide their disability so that they can keep their job? Nothing wondered about it and no one in the government is considering these fights.
Although my story is depressed, I hope that it will support others understand what will happen to people with disabilities in the workplace. Discrimination may be contrary to employment, but there are other ways of discrimination when a person is in the workplace and it happens regularly. If this is not understood and the changes are not introduced, disabled people will be pushed to hazardous environments and the effects can be catastrophic.
